Autobiography of Indoor Stadium.
Unlike all the parents
who want their kid to come in this world my dad ‘Surat Municipal Corporation’ wanted me badly
but my mom ‘slum dwellers’ aborted me everytime my dad took an initiative but
eventually my dad screwed my mom and I was born named a after a person about
whom nobody gave a shit. I was named Pandit Deendayal Stadium. I am so sure
back then one SMC official was smoking pot and came up with this name. Anways
this city gave a pretty cool name to me ‘Indoor stadium’
Initially I used to feel really sexy when people used to
come all the way from Varaccha to see me though the comment ‘Bau fine say’ by
those people pissed me off but it was ok.I looked very toned.It almost looked like I have been working out with all
those visible cuts around my round structure.
I have seen a lot in my life.Lots of people with a different
temperament and attitude.After my birth in the month of September all of a
sudden thousands of youngsters entered me and started dancing for no reason but
I remember one chic screaming about a red
‘sanedo’ so passionately as if she just had an orgasm.Well some
youngsters danced very well to that music though some seemed complete gay with
a bulked up physique and waving like a cabaret girl.
As time passed by I got to know that this was ‘Navratri’
where city gets all crazy for nine nights. The girls who used to take their
clothes off in my parking were seen in clothes which seemed quite cumbersome to
remove.Anyways they were hot!
On these days eve teasing reached heights.What I noticed was
that mostly guys with tight T-shirts, shades on in the night time and a tiger
or some animal printed on their jeans used to roam around their gutka stained teeth
and touching the girls here and there. This created a whole different chapter
in my life which I am even famous for.
But only disappointment is that I never got accredited for it like
various things in Surat like’Gopal no locho’ or ‘Madhi ni Khamni’. I so wanted
a name like ‘Indoor ni Bavaal’.Anyways I’ll get to this afterwards. Let me tell
about budding love around me.
Everyday I used to see a different age group at different
times which made me learn a lot about life. At the morning kids came to play cricket
and I was taken aback that even a Surti kid follows the tradition and throws
out at least one abuse in every three balls .Be it a miss field. Be it a full
toss ball. Be it himself getting out. Felt pity for everyone’s sisters.
Afternoon time was the most interesting one where boys and
girls used to come on bikes and cars and try to fool around in hot afternoon.
Boys always used to start with their hands on girl’s arms and starting with
rubbing the arms and trying and hesitating to touch the area of curiosity. Some
used to make it while some would go with no success.
There were many occasions where girls in those cars used to
bend towards the driver’s seat and may be tried to see the steering wheel for
some reason extremely close while the guy used to be seated in the driver’s
seat and roll his eyes.I never got this steering peeking anyways.
In the evening time lots of middle aged women used to visit
me and used to discuss about their maids and mother in laws or how is price
rise responsible for some forecast of world’s end in 2012. Used to get surprised listening to
the amplitude of the discussions . These aunties were like repellent to the
couples trying to feel each other.But as a matter of fact these aunties were my
best visitors because of the fact that they neither used to spit betel leaf
juice on me nor used to make me sick of constant swearing.
Night time was filled usually with young boys smoking. I
used to like some of them except some of those who lived in bubble of being
Lords of sarcasm and having a super fun life. They were annoying to the core,
felt like dropping one of my wall on
them. Based on what they used to brag about all the time I guess they were in
some college teaching them about machines and stuff.
Well. constant swearing takes me back to famous
entanglements which I served as the venue.Boys used to come from all the nooks
and corners of the city to participate in a ‘bavaal’ .I hardly saw anyone
beating each other up.It was just blurting out some abused like zillion times
,making a few phone calls ,calling those gutka stained teeth people ,some more talks and leaving my premises.
As the time passed by my value started fading away .I got to
know from the newspapers that no one wanted to take me even for 50 lakhs for
navratris. This was a big shock to me.I went into such a trauma that even my
air conditioning crashed during a worthless yoga session.
Police have started patrolling more and more around me which
have scared the love struck children. Boys find those newly developed areas
more cooler to solve out their problems
with other boys. I liked those boys fighting it out infront me.Kept me updated.
But only thing didn’t get till now that why the hell I was b**n***d in “B**n***d indoor pe mil”
