Monday, 18 June 2012

Autobiography of Indoor Stadium.

Autobiography of Indoor Stadium.

Unlike all the parents  who want their kid to come in this world my dad  ‘Surat Municipal Corporation’ wanted me badly but my mom ‘slum dwellers’ aborted me everytime my dad took an initiative but eventually my dad screwed my mom and I was born named a after a person about whom nobody gave a shit. I was named Pandit Deendayal Stadium. I am so sure back then one SMC official was smoking pot and came up with this name. Anways this city gave a pretty cool name to me ‘Indoor stadium’

Initially I used to feel really sexy when people used to come all the way from Varaccha to see me though the comment ‘Bau fine say’ by those people pissed me off but it was ok.I looked very toned.It almost  looked like I have been working out with all those visible cuts around my round structure.
I have seen a lot in my life.Lots of people with a different temperament and attitude.After my birth in the month of September all of a sudden thousands of youngsters entered me and started dancing for no reason but I remember one chic screaming about a red  ‘sanedo’ so passionately as if she just had an orgasm.Well some youngsters danced very well to that music though some seemed complete gay with a bulked up physique and waving like a cabaret girl.
As time passed by I got to know that this was ‘Navratri’ where city gets all crazy for nine nights. The girls who used to take their clothes off in my parking were seen in clothes which seemed quite cumbersome to remove.Anyways they were hot!
On these days eve teasing reached heights.What I noticed was that mostly guys with tight T-shirts, shades on in the night time and a tiger or some animal printed on their jeans used to roam around their gutka stained teeth and touching the girls here and there. This created a whole different chapter in my life which I am even famous for.  But only disappointment is that I never got accredited for it like various things in Surat like’Gopal no locho’ or ‘Madhi ni Khamni’. I so wanted a name like ‘Indoor ni Bavaal’.Anyways I’ll get to this afterwards. Let me tell about budding love around me.
Everyday I used to see a different age group at different times which made me learn a lot about life. At the morning kids came to play cricket and I was taken aback that even a Surti kid follows the tradition and throws out at least one abuse in every three balls .Be it a miss field. Be it a full toss ball. Be it himself getting out. Felt pity for everyone’s sisters.
Afternoon time was the most interesting one where boys and girls used to come on bikes and cars and try to fool around in hot afternoon. Boys always used to start with their hands on girl’s arms and starting with rubbing the arms and trying and hesitating to touch the area of curiosity. Some used to make it while some would go with no success.
There were many occasions where girls in those cars used to bend towards the driver’s seat and may be tried to see the steering wheel for some reason extremely close while the guy used to be seated in the driver’s seat and roll his eyes.I never got this steering peeking anyways.
In the evening time lots of middle aged women used to visit me and used to discuss about their maids and mother in laws or how is price rise responsible for some forecast of world’s end in 2012. Used to get surprised listening to the amplitude of the discussions . These aunties were like repellent to the couples trying to feel each other.But as a matter of fact these aunties were my best visitors because of the fact that they neither used to spit betel leaf juice on me nor used to make me sick of constant swearing.
Night time was filled usually with young boys smoking. I used to like some of them except some of those who lived in bubble of being Lords of sarcasm and having a super fun life. They were annoying to the core, felt like dropping  one of my wall on them. Based on what they used to brag about all the time I guess they were in some college teaching them about machines and stuff.
Well. constant swearing takes me back to famous entanglements which I served as the venue.Boys used to come from all the nooks and corners of the city to participate in a ‘bavaal’ .I hardly saw anyone beating each other up.It was just blurting out some abused like zillion times ,making a few phone calls ,calling those gutka stained teeth people  ,some more talks and leaving my premises.

As the time passed by my value started fading away .I got to know from the newspapers that no one wanted to take me even for 50 lakhs for navratris. This was a big shock to me.I went into such a trauma that even my air conditioning crashed during a worthless yoga session.
Police have started patrolling more and more around me which have scared the love struck children. Boys find those newly developed areas more cooler to solve out their  problems with other boys. I liked those boys fighting it out infront me.Kept me updated. But only thing didn’t get till now that why the hell  I was b**n***d in “B**n***d indoor pe mil” 

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